recently, i've been reading a lot of blogs in which the bloggers really seem to be doing something with their lives. whether through experiencing something completely foreign, becoming part of the workforce, changing others' perspectives, or doing something for the betterment of humanity, these people are doing something. and, quite frankly, it is inspiring. it is inspiring to see my friend, whom i've known since i was four years old, wake up at 5am every morning to take a walk on the beach and take advantage of the fact that she is living in australia right on the coast. it is inspiring to see that same friend rock her film studies class and be the first person her teacher has ever awarded a score of 100% to as a class grade. it is inspiring to see my friend volunteer in ecuador for 2 months, helping in orphanages and working in clinics to try to improve the lives of those living in ecuador. it is inspiring to read her thoughts and descriptions of their poverty, their hardships, and their joys, as well as her own experiences--whether exhilirating or worrisome. it is inspiring to read about the life of a stranger. a photographer trying to make it in this tough economy with no formal instruction. following his life as he starts his family and having the privilege to look into his perspective on life is inspriring. and after all this inspiration,
it's impossible to not ask myself the question,
"what am i doing with my life?" and really, what am i doing with my life? what am i doing to make a difference for humanity? what am i doing to validate my existence on this planet? sure, i'm getting good grades in school.
sure i'm working toward becoming a pharmacist so that i can then help change patients' lives.
sure i've been to honduras on a medical brigade and am hoping to go back on a public health brigade in spring.
but what have i gotten out of these experiences, and what am i doing now? i am so desperate to do something in this world. but as of right now, i feel stuck. i'm stuck here going to school. i'm stuck here studying. i'm stuck here, shielded from the "real world"--the world outside of being a student. i know i can go volunteer and do small things, like volunteer in a soup kitchen, or with high school kids, and honestly, i really should.
small-scale doesn't mean less worthy.
however, i just feel the need to do something BIG. something for a long period of time that will really make me think and give me a wider perspective on life. i just feel so sheltered right now... and i know that with shelter comes protection and all the fine, luxurious things in life that really translate into me being spoiled. i cannot wait to go back to honduras. i only wish it weren't a week. a week is not enough to get even close to understanding the situation there. a week is not nearly long enough to form any type of bond more than the superficial kind with the people there. a week is not enough to make that big of a difference. but i guess it'll have to do for now, and in the meantime, i'm definitely going to try to think of other ways to get out there and do something. <3 | 
